As I was searching for a picture of tonight's episode, I came across a truly frightening and disturbing phenomena. A phenomena so horrifying that even I refused to believe it could exist. I'm loathe to even mention it. Assuming you did indeed take notice of the picture, I can only be talking about zombie clowns...(shudder) ...Zombies are downright delightful compared to this bunch. You will happily invite zombies into your home and offer them refreshment. But clowns? Clowns are just pure evil and when you cross one with a zombie, you're extra dead...I mean extra extra dead with a side of...dead. This handy dandy survival guide will be of no use to you. Which brings me to tonight's tip:
Zombie clown (shudder) tip #1. THERE IS NO TIP! What did I just say? Your survival guide is WORTHLESS! Ok, so maybe I can provide some small helpful hint....acknowledge you're in mortal peril and embrace the idea of your imminent death....there....I said it.
I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news, but at least now you know. You can't say you haven't been warned. If you do come across one, please don't come find me, because I am scared to death of clowns and will just pee my pants, burst into tears and run away. Judge me all you want. It won't change anything and I still won't help you.
*footnote*
If anyone out there has in point of fact encountered a zombie clown (shudder) and has lived to tell about it, please feel free to share your story. Maybe you can provide some valuable information that could save hundreds of lives. We'd like to know how you confronted and defeated the zombie clown. (shudder) And don't tell me something stupid like you just threw a big clown shoe or a clown nose at it. I'll be really mad.....but I'll have to be mad later... after I change my underwear, stop crying, and come out of hiding...
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