bosom gifts and bombs

This entry is dedicated to my Aunt.  She is a wonderful Aunt and a very lovely woman..and she's crazy. We don't know how or why she started it, but she has this nasty habit of commandeering your  Christmas and birthday gifts and placing them down her blouse. What a funny lady! As you can see from the photographic evidence,  I am NOT making this up. She is no respecter of persons, either. She will take family members gifts, her friends gifts and even a homeless guy's gift. ( If he had one) It doesn't even matter if she likes what you got or not. Beware when she proclaims:" ohh let me see that!" translation: 'ohhh I must have that, I will now place it down my bosom!"  She thinks she's so clever...One of these times, I'll go down there and retrieve my gifts. I ain't afraid of her bosom! 

So here on the one hand we have my crazy aunt commandeering every gift in sight, and on the other you have my 9 year old Ethan declaring: "it's a BOMB!"  Apparently he is a conspiracy theorist. Big boxes, BOMB! Little boxes, BOMB! Flowery, pink gift bags with fluffy pink and purple tissue paper coming out of the top, BOMB! My only question is what would he do if it actually was a bomb? Let's  hope none of them ever are. I think my aunt would be very sorry, as well. I get the impression she would be displeased if her bosom got bombed. I would just say: "meh, at least you weren't eaten by zombies"...

*footnote*                                                                              

              When you come for Christmas this year, rest assured that a bomb squad will be on hand  just in case you do indeed receive a bomb from Santa. But more importantly, if you get any jewelry, Do NOT let her insist on admiring it.  That is her favorite thing to steal.  And you won't get that back...ever...