Zombie Friday - S1/ep.8

I've gotten so caught up in this zombie safety course, that I have completely forgotten to address the zombies, themselves. I have a few words I'd like to share with them, so we will be deviating from our usual discussion this evening.

Dear Zombies, 

           You are a frightful lot and we recognize your incredible power. However, I believe your power could be used for good. If I may steal a moment of your valuable time, I'd like to propose a mutually advantageous arrangement. If you won't eat me, any member of the ZDI or the general public at large, I shall provide a list of suitable victims, or volunteers as it were. Not only will you be permitted to eat said volunteers but you will also be encouraged to do so. Here is a list of the top 10 people that by popular vote have been recruited as your first victims, er...I mean...volunteers:

               1. Any and all members of the Kardashian clan. yes, they all count as one person. 

               2. Paris Hilton. No explanation should be needed

               3. Donald Trump. You would be doing the rest of the world a favor, believe me.  

               4. Dog the bounty hunter. I just don't like him. You can have his wife, too

               5. Lindsay Lohan. She needs to be put out of her misery. And we need to be put out of ours.

               6. Kate Gosselin. Just to make sure she can't ever come back to try and do another tv show.

               7. Britney Spears. She's a waste of space. I don't think anyone will even notice.

               8. Republicans. There. I said it.  But I don't think anyone would notice their disappearance, either. And there's plenty of them. They should hold you for awhile.

               9. Jack Nicholson. He creeps me out. Get rid of him.

             10. Carrot Top. He's annoying AND creeps me out. Get rid of him, too.

This should give you a good start, so I now send you out to do my bidding. Let me know when this has been accomplished and I will give you another list. Thank you.

                      *footnote*

                               Ok, Ok, so maybe zombies can't actually be told who to eat. They might be picky eaters.  But it's worth a try. We could always round them up ourselves (The  volunteers, not the zombies) and just hurl them as needed and hope they go for it. If you would like to include someone not listed, I would be happy to add them. If there's anyone on this list you disagree with and would like to see removed, too bad. it's my list. Deal with it.