I recently gave my auntie some apricots so she could make me some jam. No, I won't make it myself. I'm a consumer, not a producer. Anyway, I asked her how they turned out. Apparently she left them in her hot car and forgot about them. By the time she retrieved them, most of them had perished. Apricot mass murder. For shame. Of course I had to make her feel bad about her apricot neglect. She suggested we hold workshops on how to be kind and become a friend to the apricot. I wholeheartedly agreed. In fact, it inspired me to create the FOAA - the friends of apricots association. We raise awareness for the plight of neglected and suffering apricots. There was some dispute however, over whose fault it was. She maintains it was due to someone else's lack of care. I argued that it was indeed her mistake. They were in her possession, thus her ultimate responsibility. She then threatened to report me to the FOAEOA- the friends of apricots enforcement/oversight agency. HA! What a laugh! It was incumbent upon me to point out her lack of concern for the apricots, thus forcing me to form and spearhead the FOAEOA. I blew the whistle on her apricot wrongdoings. She can't report me! She will categorically deny all of this. How sad for her. I'm thinking of creating a support group. The FOASG-the friends of apricots support group. She needs to acknowledge her hand in the demise of these poor defenseless apricots. I'll keep you posted on her progress.
*footnote*
If you would like to become a FOAA member, you can send a check or money order in the amount of a gazillion dollars to the official FOAA headquarters C/O me. As a thank you, we will send you the official FOAA t-shirt, keychain, bumper sticker and mug. I look forward to receiving your money. I mean support. Thank you.
