After taking some time to recover from my harrowing experience of getting there, we took to the strip to begin our tour of hotels and casinos, nudie bars and sex shops. I'm just kidding! We didn't go into any hotels or casinos....we did however stop for dinner at Fatburger. Apparently this place is all the rage and a Las Vegas must. We were disappointed. It turned out to be more of a Las Vegas "meh." The only fat thing about it was the price. It should've been called "You'll-need-to-sell-a-kidney-first-to-eat-this-burger." I guess that wouldn't fit on the sign so they decided to go with Fatburger. We unanimously agreed we never need to go there again. Ah well....at least you got free refills for your coke. This was a huge selling point. I may have had to sell a kidney to eat there, but at least I could flood my one remaining kidney with all the coke I could drink! Whoo-hoo!....And isn't that what truly matters here? I am forced to say yes...yes it is...
*footnote*
touring the strip
After driving hundreds of miles through the lovely Moapa Indian reservation, (where you may recall not one Indian resides) we finally made it safe and sound to Vegas and our hotel, the Excalibur. And I don't use the phrase "safe and sound" here as just an expression. It was a harrowing experience and a miracle we arrived safe and sound for a couple of reasons.
1. Auntie is no longer allowed to operate a motor vehicle. She is fired, due to the fact that she is highway challenged. She sped by our exits on a regular basis and delayed our arrival by at least 4 days. In fact, she wouldn't know a freeway on ramp if it came up and bit her on the butt.
2. She is highway and freeway ramp challenged because she likes to talk on the phone and drive at the same time. It became evident within the first 10 minutes of the trip that she cannot multitask - hence the 4 day delay.
3. She likes to meander. A word that in this case means. " Let's stop for no reason to look at nothing as often as possible even though I know you hate road trips and you're anxious to get there." She even insisted on stopping for gas and getting drinks. This was unacceptable.
4. She refused to feed me. Her meandering interfered with my meal times and thus resulted in me becoming cranky and snarky. I also found this intolerable.
5. After a 4 day delay, missing on ramps and exits, endless meandering and me starving, we got to enjoy the added bonus of Las Vegas traffic. The car expressed it's displeasure at having to sit at red lights for days on end by almost overheating, but thanks to my quick thinking and savvy Vegas street smarts, I got us to our hotel - safe and sound - and the car calmed down. Phew! ...But she's still fired....
*footnote*
Excalibur was a perfectly fine and acceptable hotel. I've always wanted to stay there and Auntie was gracious enough to indulge me. That is until I saw my sisters room. She stayed at Mandalay Bay. I am soooo staying there next time. She got a jetted tub and a flat screen tv in her bathroom! We were lucky we didn't have to pay extra for indoor plumbing.....
Well, it's happened. After months, then weeks of fearing the dreaded day, it came. Despite all my efforts to avoid it. The only good thing was my birthday pie. For 40 years I have been denied a birthday pie, but my sister was finally able to break my mother's resolve, so I thank her for paving the way for pie....pie is good.
*footnote*
This is my all time favorite. chocolate cream. You have to try some. I promise you won't ever eat any other kind again...ever...yes, it's that good. No, you can't have the recipe. It's like the colonel's 11 secret herbs and spices..only 2 people know it and it's locked in a vault. How sad for you....
Ok,ok....don't get your panties in a knot. Geez, you impatient people! This is a series of entries entitled "the vegas adventure." I will be sharing photos and stories of our fabulous week end celebrating my super awesome life day. NOT my birthday, because I did NOT turn 40. Nope. no way. No one's 40 here. Anywho...
You're sitting there wondering why the hell I've put up a picture of an indian reservation. Well, I'll tell you. This is the Moapa indian reservation, about 30 miles or so outside of Las Vegas. So it makes sense this where the Vegas adventure began. And it is at this point that I get excited, because it means the fun is getting close! Entering the reservation, you'd expect to start seeing...well, indians maybe? We didn't see any. Not a one. All we saw was a whole lot of nothing. And I mean nothing. Thus began a fascinating discussion of where all the indians were. We came to the conclusion that just one lone old indian guy lives here. All that land just to himself. And he hides. His name is Chief Geronimo....literally translated, "he who hides." We don't know why Chief Geronimo hides. Maybe he lurks. Maybe he ducks behind sagebrush and shoots arrows at passing cars. I say zombies wiped out the entire tribe and he was the only survivor. This would explain his distrust of the human race and compels him to shoot arrows at cars. Well, wherever you are, Chief, we mean you no harm and it's ok if you hide. We just wanted to say hi......Hi!
*footnote*
This is Chief Geronimo. No wonder he hides and shoots arrows at us. He's old, tired and cranky. And hates people entering his reservation asking where all the indians are. Don't do it...
Don't panic!! It's all good....no need for alarm.....I'm recovering from my Vegas vacation, so please pardon my absence. I will be posting a series of my adventures very soon, so don't go anywhere! I assure you, your patience will be rewarded....
