j'adore paris

                                         Bonjour! Merci! Tres Bien! Au Revoir! Merde! 

             Ok, that's about all the french I know, but I don't care. My newest obsession is with any and all things french. More specifically, Paris. I love Paris. I've started collecting anything I can find with the Eiffel Tower on it. You can barely see them in the picture, but I got these earrings for Christmas and they're my new favorite thing. Don't ask me what started this obsession. I don't know. All I know is that I want to move there. I want to become a snooty french person, eat croissants, sit at sidewalk cafes and make fun of all the silly American tourists. I think I would fit in quite well and the french people would embrace me. At least I have the name for it. Just think - I'll be able to find key chains and mugs, pencils and t-shirts with the name CHANTAL plastered all over them! It will be wonderful. The only thing I refuse to do is wear a beret. I look ridiculously bad in hats, so don't expect to see me sporting one anytime soon. You can however, expect to see me sporting my Eiffel Tower earrings! Viva la France!

   
                               *footnote*
                                       Don't think I have forgotten the fact that Johnny lives in Paris. What a happy coincidence! Although now that he and Vanessa are no longer an item, who knows if he still spends any of his time there. Not a problem. After I kidnap him and force him to marry me, we'll find a cute little apartment overlooking the River Seine. And gorge ourselves on baguettes until we're sick......ahhh, that's the life for me! 

the element of indifference..

      I was delighted to no end when I found this picture online! . Me and my aunt, (my aunt and I ?.) We live by this element and always manage to end every conversation we have with a meh, whatever. We even try to outdo each other with our indifference- to see who literally can care less. She may have quantity, but I have quality. My indifference is unparalleled. Here is a list of things I don't give a rat's ass about...

                        1. sports - meh whatever
                        2. celebrity...anything...who gives a crap about what who's wearing, who's dating who, who's having a baby, and how much some famous person's mansion is worth...meh, whatever...
                        3. where you're going on vacation. I don't care and I don't need to see your pictures.  I SO don't care.
                       4. who likes or  who doesn't like me....again...meh,whatever
                       5. your cat....I hate your cat. I won't talk about my dog if you promise you won't talk about your stupid cat. 

                      these are just a few examples of things that draw out my indifference. Now here is a list of things I DO care about...


                    1. I really care about chocolate...I mean REALLY care...
                    2. Johnny. this is no surprise. Everyone is fully aware of my intense desire and regard for Mr. Depp.
                   3. my bathroom-I really care about people NOT using my bathroom. 
                   4. my stuff- I care about my stuff....don't touch my stuff. the end. 

                        
                                      *footnote*
        "I find it extremely difficult to care about things I just don't give a crap about..." - Me....and if you don't like tonight's blog entry......meh, whatever...

the undecided restaurant...

      A little restaurant having an identity crisis... I discovered this place not long ago and I had to look twice as I drove past....WTH? Are you sandwiches or are you egg rolls and chow mein? maybe you're waffles...with a name like "the great sandwich chinese food" you could be anything. Just make up your minds and pick something already! Just please say you don't make chinese food sandwiches. 

              Yes, I'd like the sweet and sour pork footlong, please....or a ham fried rice on whole wheat. Or today's special. The egg drop soup panini....I say again.....WTH??


                                     
                                        *footnote*
                                              As you can probably tell from the photo, It is now closed. It was just too hard to come to any kind of decision. It was just easier to say screw it. We give up. We're going out of business...They can always try again later. Be on the look out for The great waffle and mexican food opening soon. 

I hate Grandpa Joe...

           
                                ....he can hope you keep your lazy ass out of that bed and get a job..

                  I really hate Grandpa Joe. My BFF recently posted on her facebook something about getting a golden ticket, so now it's rekindled my disdain for Joe. I can't let it go. My dander is up...and I'll tell you why.

             For the better part of 20 years, grandpa Joe has not been able to leave his bed. (can't or won't?) He sits there whining and complaining and basically refuses to budge, even though his family is starving to death. He could at least try giving his mouth a rest. Anyway, Charlie, having beaten all the odds, brings home a highly-coveted golden ticket. The very last one, in point of fact. And he is allowed to bring one member of his family. What happens next remains a mystery to this day. Either Charlie asks grandpa Joe, or Joe volunteers himself. We've never been quite sure. This is what we do know...That lazy no good bum, is ...wait for it...CURED! He can get out of bed! He can walk and jump and dance! It's a miracle! No, it's chocolate. For 20 years, he just lies in bed. For 20 years, he can barely move. But as soon as he finds out he gets to go see Willy Wonka, he's out of that bed like a shot....rat bastard...Does no one else see the  problem here? Now you know why my dander is up. He's perfectly fine watching poor charlie and his mom suffer, but he's not about to pass up the chocolate factory! Idiot stick....I bet he'd find it just a tad too hard to go anywhere with my foot up his ass....


                              *footnote*
                                     This is my script re-write:
                             
      Joe:  (singing and dancing around the room) " Cause I've got a golden ticket , 
                                         I've got a golden twinkle in my eye"...
                                
     Charlie: "Where do you think you're going, old man? Sit your ass back down. I'm taking my  
                     mother. You better have a job by the time we get back...and no chocolate for you!"                                                           
                                            (slams the door for dramatic effect as he leaves) 

                    See how much better my way is? I thought so....

                                  

completely random entry- MINE...

   This is MY drink. Don't touch my drink... and don't ask me why I wrote mine instead of my name, seeing as mine could be anybody's. But it's not. It's mine, as the cup clearly states. So back off...that is all...


                                 *footnote*
                                         This completely random entry fails to yield an inspiring footnote. All I can say is I adore Cafe Rio. As you can plainly see this is where MY cup is from. I consume vats of their creamy tomatillo dressing. I would swim in vats of the dressing if I could, in point of fact......it's life-changing....

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! The year from hell is finally over....here's hoping this one is a vast improvement.  At least the kids go back to school tomorrow. This is cause for much celebration   and rejoicing throughout the land......talk about peace on earth and good will toward man! there is a lot more peace and I certainly have more good will toward men, when they all go back to school. 

 As further celebration and to help ring in a new year, I would like to introduce you to the newest member of  my marem, Mr. Kevin Zegers. Oh boy, is he a cutie! Oh here..I just happen to have some pictures.  Handsome, handsome man. I've been watching the encore series, "Titanic-Blood &Steel" and he plays the main character.  I had never heard of him, but he was enough to make me go, "wait. I must know who this boy is. I feel he is destined to join the marem"....I call him a boy because he may or may not be somewhat kinda of a little bit just sort of younger than me. ok, so what if he's kind of sort of a lot younger than me? I say to you, meh..I don't care. He's pretty and I want him. Now before you start sending me emails expressing your alarm that Johnny has been replaced, Calm down and fear not. Johnny has NOT been replaced! Phew...I know, that was a close call. No, no...Kevin is merely an addition. A wonderful handsome addition and I welcome him with open arms..

                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

                                 *footnote*

                                       I've really enjoyed this series, by the way. I'm now on the last episode and it's just days before the Titanic sets sail.  I'm on the edge of my seat and I can't wait to see how it ends....