We went to see "Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Hunter" A few nights ago. I have to say, it was actually pretty good. There's something strangely appealing about watching Lincoln kick some serious vampire butt. It's interesting that we've never read about this in any of the history books, though. He must have wanted to keep it hush hush. I doubt Mary would have approved.
Anyway, here are 3 things I learned from this movie:
1. He wields an axe like no body's business. Seriously. In fact, he wields an axe so well, I'm thinking of recruiting him for my ZDI.
2. The confederate army did not consist of any actual confederate soldiers. They were all vampires. And they could become invisible. Who knew? FYI - when the south seceded from the union, I think they were known as the Confederate Vampire States of America. This would explain everything.
3. And most importantly, I was shocked and dismayed to discover that vampires DON'T SPARKLE!! That's right...they don't! Not a one...I had no idea! Edward Cullen sparkles...he sparkles a lot. Well in all fairness, these vampires make Edward Cullen look like the count from Sesame Street. This can only mean that sparkles aren't a selling point.
All in all, an acceptable film and I enjoyed it.
*footnote*
The only thing that could have possibly improved this movie in any way would be the addition of zombies. "Abraham Lincoln - Vampire Zombie Hunter". No, wait! Zombie vampires! I smell a sequel...
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