A plethora of powers...

I live with 3 boys...a 14, 9 and 40 year old. This means I know everything I never wanted to know about superheroes. And I mean everything. Superman, Batman, Spider-man, Aqua-man, Iron man, Big man, Little man, Disease Man and every man in between. I have been dragged to every movie, shown every comic book and bought every costume ever made. I have listened to every life story of every character ever created. There are years I can't get back spent in superhero bondage. You don't believe me. go ahead. ask me anything. I dare you. Now, before you start sending me hate mail, let me add that I actually do like them. For instance, Thor. Chris Hemsworth? A stunning man. Iron Man. Robert Downey, Jr? Also stunning. Captain America. Chris Evans. Likewise. See? I appreciate the beauty of superheroes. But seriously, there's only so much I can absorb. There are have been times sitting around the dinner table, when I just wanted to blurt out everything I know about barbies, strawberry shortcake, and cabbage patch kids. I get blank stares. Apparently, no one cares about my barbie corvette. Which is really sad because it was bitchin'. Oh well. I guess I am destined to spend eternity hearing about Tony Stark and Bruce Wayne. Also known as...?

       *footnote*
                I need a good super hero name for my super power. Able to provide sarcasm in a single bound! Maybe a cape and a mask. I can't risk going out as myself.  If you have any suggestions, I'd love to hear them. And if I pick yours, you'll win free sarcasm for a year! That's a savings of over $20!  Good luck!