More moose...

       
          I got more moosess for christmas. As you well remember from the very beginning, I have come to embrace the moose that is me. This little guy was sitting on top of my pile of presents this year. His name is Hal and he will be a welcome addition to all the meese on my bed. I think maybe he's only meant to mingle with the other moosessess at christmas ( the huge christmas lights on his antlers were a clue) but I don't want to put him away already. That just doesn't seem right. 

            We couldn't get each other anything for christmas this year. It was more important that the kids were taken care of and that they had a good day. Well of course they did. Not that I was ok with that. I'm very selfish and I wanted stuff, too. So during a recent trip to Wal-mart I found this moose chain and decided it had to be mine. He was ok with that. It only cost him $3.50. Merry Christmas to me!


                         *footnote*
                                I hinted last night at a couple of other things I got. I got a new griddle for pancakes and a toilet paper holder. I know! A toilet paper holder! How cool is that? I've wanted one for ages and it's awesome! only I would get this excited about griddles and toilet paper. At least I got more mooses....

merry christmas, friends and family

             And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,

      "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men."

                          Wishing you peace and joy and a very merry christmas!

             *footnote*

                 

     I will be posting pictures of what I got for christmas, so don't miss it!  Toilet paper, pancakes and another moose may or may not be involved!

            ...and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!

clever christmas letter

You're never too old to write a letter to Santa. And I love writing my letter to Santa every year. Or at least I did. It was a family tradition to sit and write our letters on Thanksgiving after we had finished dinner. Unfortunately, my sisters are big doodie heads and put a stop to this lovely family tradition a few years ago. I was bummed.  

Alas, my wonderful mother made me a christmas scrapbook filled with all my letters. She saved every one! Tonight, I thought I'd share some excerpts of the last letter I wrote which was exactly 4 years ago. I try to be creative so I'm not writing the same thing year after year. I'm especially proud of this one. I call it "My clever christmas letter"

                         Dear Santa,
                                 It's christmas once more, time to write a new letter....has this year for you been better than ever? We are all fine here, I hope you are too. I don't want to know you've come down with the flu.....
                          
                           But the best news of all and I scream and I shout
                           Yay! the worst person in the world, yes, that Bush guy is out!
                            And no more McCain or his silly sidekick Palin
                            If she'd gotten in, we all would be wailin'!
                            We have a new president, this year has been grand,
                            he's smart and a democrat, the best in the land!
                            We know he'll do well, this Mr. Obama,
                            he's just the right guy to catch that Osama! 

                            We love you a lot, you're such a great guy,
                            we love you so much that we'll leave you some pie
                            Thank you for wonderful christmases each year
                            you fill all our hearts with warmth and good cheer!

Ok, so it was a little heavy on the political side 4 years ago. But I thought it was good. And at least I left out the part where I asked for twilight stuff... don't judge me...

       
                               *footnote*

                                      
        I'm still waiting for santa to bring me this guy. I ask for him every year and I'm still waiting. This HAS to be the year I wake up to find him under my tree wearing nothing but a big red bow and his sexy smile. please santa? I've been good! ....sigh...
                            

Zombie Friday S2/ep. 3

AAAARRRGGHHHH!!! I hate December! I hate Christmas! 

                    Ok, so I don't hate Christmas completely, but I hate being stressed and having no time. I'm letting the poor blog go belly up again. It's been a week and a half. Where did it go? A week and a half already! Geez Louise....

                Do zombies sing Christmas carols? Well, according to this picture I found, they do. They decorate trees, so why not? I believe I even warned you of zombies caroling in a neighborhood near you, in point of fact. Remember when I told you NOT to open your doors lest your entrails become garland? Ya. They sing. And they have their own book of carols. But I still have one question - When do they find time to hunt for brains between decorating trees and caroling? And forget about all the holiday baking. And Christmas shopping. Sigh....It's exhausting being a zombie..and it's exhausting following zombie habits and writing about them. Not only do I have to follow them around documenting their activity, behavior and customs, I have to make sure I stay out of the way so I don't become christmas decorations or dinner. I really should get paid for this. I'm providing a valuable public service and I deserve fair compensation for sacrificing my time and putting myself in harms way to protect you people! Well maybe it's not all bad....I do get to hang out with my sexy bad ass commander, Rick...and he's so worth it....


                              *footnote*
                                     Rudolph the zombie reindeer....best christmas song...EVER! ..You have to check this out!

                      http://www.zombiereportingcenter.com/2010/12/19/zombie-christmas-carols/

peace on earth and good will toward men, damn it!

 I do volunteer work at our church's food bank and thought I'd share some of my experiences this evening. If you're expecting heart warming and tender, you're obviously reading the wrong blog and we've never met. People are stupid and I hate them. You'd think that getting free food would make them fall to their knees, overcome with gratitude. Nope. Now, don't get me wrong. there are some who do. I've met some wonderful people and this is why I do it. But for the other 80% of the population, I want to kick them in the shins and steal their lunch money. To my chagrin, they're coming in to get free food. This means they have no lunch money for me to steal. Damn. 

                       Here are some of my favorites.

                   1. No lady, you don't get 22 packages of diapers. That's a 2. You don't get to write in another 2 and assume we were all born yesterday. Put them back! No diapers for you!

                   2. No mister, I said 1 package of tortillas. You can't sneak another one into your basket while my back is turned and think I won't notice. I'm on to you. No tortillas for you!

                   3. Can I get raisin bran instead of toasty o's?          - no 

                             But I don't like toasty o's. I want raisin bran!          - no substitutions. sorry.

                             I told her raisin bran. I don't know why she put down toasty o's       - too bad. 

                             I want to talk to your manager!    - No. No cereal for you!

                                                This conversation actually happened. 

                   4. In what alternate universe does a family of 3 need 8 gallons of milk? seriously!
                   5. I can't eat this....oh well..

                   6. do you have?....no..

  
         So I am forced to tell them to take their food and they'll eat  it and it and like it! Merry Christmas, damn it!  ... Get out...

                            *footnote*

                                   when you come in to see me, make sure your form is filled out right, don't try to steal more stuff and think I won't catch it, don't ask to substitute this or get you more of that., and  realize I am NOT wal-mart!  oh ya. And if we do authorize 1 or 2 minor changes, this does not mean you get to dump armloads of stuff into your basket. Deal with it, or no food for you! Thank you and I say good day...

           

Zombie Friday S2/ep. 2

      The holiday season is now officially underway. We've put up our lights, turned on the christmas music and decorated the tree. So naturally I want to know what zombies decorate their trees with. My guess is body parts and entrails, but I don't see how that could work. The zombies would crawl all over each other to get to the tree and then rip it to shreds, leaving a blooming mess of leftover body parts, entrails and pine needles in their wake. And everyone knows those damn needles are a bitch to clean up. Does this not present a problem and leave the zombies in a pickle? Not that I feel inclined to assist the zombies with their holiday decorating. I'd just end up on the tree...

            I also want to know if they go caroling. They already travel in packs so it seems entirely possible that they can go around the neighborhoods singing. Just teach them "joy to the world" and "the first noel" and there you have it. However, don't open your door when they come knocking. They get distracted real easy and as soon as they smell you, they'll forget all about singing "silent night" and try to eat you. And then drag you back so they can decorate their trees with your body parts and entrails. At least you'll smell of pine. 

                So let's sum up what we've learned tonight. You get a fact and A safety tip. Bonus!

                         

      1. FACT: zombies use entrails and body parts to decorate their trees....and they want yours.

                         

      2. SAFETY TIP: Don't open the door when zombies come a carolin'....If you absolutely must open your door for some stupid reason, make sure Daryl is standing right behind you with his bow and arrow at the ready. 

                           

                                 *footnote*

                                         wow - what a finale! If you missed the mid season finale of the Walking Dead, allow me to recap. Showdown at Woodbury between the gang and the governor. Merle and Daryl finally see each other after months but it doesn't look like it's going to end well. We learned the governor is even more of a fruit loop than originally thought. He kept a supply of zombie heads in fish tanks to feed his zombie daughter. Silly governor! Michonne discovered this and expressed her displeasure by killing the daughter and taking his eye out. It was pretty dramatic. Tune in February for new episodes! 

               

           Meanwhile, may your holiday season be filled with peace and joy.....and zombie free...