election eve

 




                      Tomorrow's a big day. That's right- it's election day. Now I'm not here to tell you how I vote (democrat) or who I'm going to vote for (Obama) ....and I'm certainly not here to tell YOU who to vote for (Obama) ...no, really. Vote for who you feel would best serve our country. (Obama)  I hope you make the right choice. (Obama) 

                         I'm here to share some of my ideas on how to make this great nation of ours even better. I call this: 
                                                             
                                                                                    If I were president 

                           1. healthcare- health insurance for everyone
                                         There is no debate, there is no discussion...subject closed. Everyone gets it....period. The end.
                              
                          2. Car registration-
                                         stupid, stupid, stupid. Who cares if your car passes inspection? So you have to drive a piece of crap? Sue me! I would totally get rid of this. It's just something else I need to worry about paying for. Screw that. Car insurance is included. You buy a car, it's automatically there. 

                        3. Increase teacher salaries-
                                            by like...A LOT! 

                        4. Decrease athletes salaries-
                                              by like A LOT!  basketball players, football players, baseball players, hockey players....you name it players. half their salaries....gone. I'm the president...I can do this..

                        5. minimum wage-
                                        restaurant servers will make ACTUAL minimum wage. No more of this $2.13 crap. And companies will pay a decent amount of money that employees can ACTUALLY live on. What a novel idea! Employees that make enough money to support their families? And even have enough to go on vacation  for at least 1 week each year?  Surely not.....

                      6. TV programming-
                                 There shall be no more than 2 commercials per 1/2 hour tv show. And they have to be muted. And while we're on the subject, reality tv is hereby declared illegal. No more kardashians, no more jersey shore, no more american idol.....and for hell's sake, NO MORE TEEN MOM!!! 

                    7. Movie theater regulations-
                                Cell phones and 3 year-olds are banned from all movie theaters. They must be left at the door. You can pick them up on your way out. 

                         Well, it's obvious I could go on all night.  Maybe i'll write myself in tomorrow when I go vote. If you have anything you'd like to add, I'd be happy to hear your ideas. You may even be considered for the nomination of vice-president! Upon my approval, of course..I'm also taking applications for immediate staff and cabinet members. I don't need a political adviser, though. I know exactly what I'm doing, I never make mistakes and I am NEVER wrong...feel free to agree with me....

                     
                        *footnote*
                              Please be advised that in the event that Johnny Depp expresses interest in becoming my vice-president,  my offer will be off the table. He automatically obtains the position. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. (no I don't)  And yes..this is just another excuse to post his picture...stunning man....stunning, stunning man.....swoon...