I love christmas music....seriously...

           You know, crap really needs to stop happening so I can get on here and attend to my blog's needs. I'm shocked it's not dead by now. It's like that goldfish you keep forgetting to feed and by the time you remember he's there, he's given up all hope and gone belly up. Poor goldfish. Poor blog. Well, here's hoping I can revive it. 

                   I love Christmas music...I mean SERIOUSLY love Christmas music. I am not ashamed to admit that I've been listening to it for almost a month now.  As far as I'm concerned, as soon as November 1st hits, Christmas music becomes fair game. Hey, if the radio stations can start playing it, so can I! And of course people say to me, "and if the radio stations jumped off a cliff, does that mean you have to?" Yes....yes, it does..because the radio stations are playing Christmas music....and I love Christmas music. I will be listening to O Holy Night and Joy To The World as I plummet to my death. Not a bad way to go, in my book...

              Now that you know the extent of my affection for Christmas music, you're probably wondering what my favorite holiday tunes are...excellent question... I will tell you -

                               10. O Holy Night- Josh Groban (and Josh Groban only)

                                9.  White Christmas -  Bing Crosby

                                8. We need a little Christmas - ( don't judge me)    

                                7. It Came Upon A Midnight Clear

                                6. Candlelight Carol - ( you want to see me bawl like a baby, play this song)

                                5. Rockin' around the Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

                                4. The Christmas Song - Nat King Cole

                                3. Christmas Children - from the musical, "Scrooge"

                                2. The Chipmunk Song - (I mean, really...who doesn't love the chipmunks?)

                                

And my number 1 most favorite song ever....Silent Night in German played on just a guitar. So beautiful. Unfortunately, for every good song, there are a dozen bad ones -

                                1. Simply having a wonderful Christmas time- Paul McCartney. Simply wanting to vomit and throw the radio out the window whenever this song comes on.

                                2. All I want for Christmas is you - Mariah Carey. All I want for Christmas is to never hear this song again...ever..

                               3. Hey Santa - Wilson/Phillips. Hey Santa...I'm so sorry they wrote this song for you. I know it's bad. 

                               4. Sleigh Ride- every version ever written. Friends are not calling yoo-hoo. Nobody calls yoo-hoo...and who the hell is Farmer Gray? Never mind..I don't care who Farmer Gray is. I wasn't invited to his birthday party, anyway. 

                                5. The 12 days of Christmas. I don't need lords a leaping or ladies dancing. I certainly don't need drummers drumming and where would I put maids a milking and a partridge in a pear tree? The only thing remotely useful are the 5 gold rings. I say we pawn the rings and eat the partridge for christmas dinner..

 So there you have it. Even though I love Christmas music, you can clearly see there are songs that elicit violent reactions. But no matter. Go and enjoy the season! Just avoid the aforementioned songs and there will be peace on earth and goodwill toward men...

                                          *footnote*
                                                       
                                                       I found this amazing rendition....enjoy! 

                                                     
                                http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4puLybRGSAw     

                        

                                                       

  

Zombie Friday - S2/ ep.1 ...a zombie thanksgiving

                  Welcome back to another to season of Zombie Friday! I trust you've survived the last 6 weeks without me. If you haven't, well, your fate is regrettable. You should have listened to me. For those of you who are still alive, congratulations! 

                         Holy crap! I can't believe we're only a week out from Thanksgiving -which has me pondering the question: " Do zombies celebrate Thanksgiving?"  I would assume they do. I bet they get together at  zombie Grandma's house and enjoy zombie turkeys. Crazy zombie Uncle Fred brings the beer and zombie cousins Cathy and Christine make mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. You're in charge of the pumpkin pie and your zombie sister always brings the rolls, but she eats them before she even gets to the house. The zombie family really needs to clue in and stop putting her in charge of bringing the rolls. 
                       I then began to wonder what zombies are thankful for...do they go around the table  and share? 
                    - 'I'm thankful there's a plentiful supply of people to nosh on"...
                    - "I'm thankful I'm dead and have no clue what the crap I'm doing"...
                    - "I'm thankful someone finally put a bullet in my brain and put me out of my misery"...
                    -"I'm thankful they put me in charge of the rolls so I can eat them all"...

                            Oh, the many things a zombie can be thankful for. After they've given thanks and consumed mass quantities of zombie turkeys...or people, I bet they watch a zombie football game. Zombie football games are extremely boring to watch, though. For us, a normal game only lasts 2 hours. For them, they last 2 months. Think about it...zombies move so slow, all they do is wander around the field and bump into each other. Don't ask me who wins or how. I think they all finally get bored themselves and just leave. Besides, there's more people to eat. They can't be bothered with sporting events.

                             Well, now we know a little bit about zombie thanksgiving traditions. I can't wait to see what they do for christmas. Until then, I wish you all a happy thanksgiving! Just don't accept any  thanksgiving dinner invitations from zombies. If they run out of turkey, you're on the menu...just sayin'...


                                     *footnote*
                                             Speaking of zombies, I'll give you a quick sum up of this season's "Walking Dead"....Laurie just died, the baby's fine (for now) Rick's gone completely mental, Andrea has it bad for the governor, and Marchonne wants to spit on people. She doesn't trust the governor, so she left.  And of course, there's all the usual gory zombie death we've come to expect. I love this show...

                      

weird christmas gift request

So sorry...I didn't realize it had been a week since my last post. I guess I got crazy busy. Scratch that...I don't have to guess...I got crazy busy. Crazy insanely busy....

             This year for Christmas, I have a really weird item on my list. I've become completely obsessed with the Godfather movies, so I'm asking Santa to bring me the entire trilogy. I realize this is bizarre for a couple of reasons. 
                                  
                                1. I'm a girl. This is a guy movie if ever there was one. Girls just don't ask for the Godfather movies let alone watch them, so this could be considered a breach of godfather protocol. Please don't  tell anyone. 

                               2. Nothing screams peace on earth and good will toward men like the godfather. I think this is considered a breach of Christmas protocol. Girls ask for dishes, perfume or jewelry and romantic comedies like Runaway Bride or season 1 of Grey's Anatomy.   They don't ask for movies filled with mass murders and horse heads. So you see why this request is not Christmas-friendly and maybe  even a wee bit inappropriate.  I'm worried Santa's head is going to explode when he reads my letter. Not only am I girl, but I am a girl asking for films focusing on a family displaying numerous examples of non-good will behavior. Oh well. I don't care, because I really want them. 

                           Maybe I'll make Santa an offer he can't refuse. Don't worry. I won't put a horse head in his bed...He just won't get any milk and cookies...


                                    *footnote*
                                           Now before you start sending me hate mail expressing your displeasure at my thoughtless and tasteless entreaty, I will have you know I have other things on my list. I can't remember everything now and of course I lost the piece of paper I wrote it all down on. All I know is that I want a set of tray tables, so I can watch the godfather while I eat...

election eve

 




                      Tomorrow's a big day. That's right- it's election day. Now I'm not here to tell you how I vote (democrat) or who I'm going to vote for (Obama) ....and I'm certainly not here to tell YOU who to vote for (Obama) ...no, really. Vote for who you feel would best serve our country. (Obama)  I hope you make the right choice. (Obama) 

                         I'm here to share some of my ideas on how to make this great nation of ours even better. I call this: 
                                                             
                                                                                    If I were president 

                           1. healthcare- health insurance for everyone
                                         There is no debate, there is no discussion...subject closed. Everyone gets it....period. The end.
                              
                          2. Car registration-
                                         stupid, stupid, stupid. Who cares if your car passes inspection? So you have to drive a piece of crap? Sue me! I would totally get rid of this. It's just something else I need to worry about paying for. Screw that. Car insurance is included. You buy a car, it's automatically there. 

                        3. Increase teacher salaries-
                                            by like...A LOT! 

                        4. Decrease athletes salaries-
                                              by like A LOT!  basketball players, football players, baseball players, hockey players....you name it players. half their salaries....gone. I'm the president...I can do this..

                        5. minimum wage-
                                        restaurant servers will make ACTUAL minimum wage. No more of this $2.13 crap. And companies will pay a decent amount of money that employees can ACTUALLY live on. What a novel idea! Employees that make enough money to support their families? And even have enough to go on vacation  for at least 1 week each year?  Surely not.....

                      6. TV programming-
                                 There shall be no more than 2 commercials per 1/2 hour tv show. And they have to be muted. And while we're on the subject, reality tv is hereby declared illegal. No more kardashians, no more jersey shore, no more american idol.....and for hell's sake, NO MORE TEEN MOM!!! 

                    7. Movie theater regulations-
                                Cell phones and 3 year-olds are banned from all movie theaters. They must be left at the door. You can pick them up on your way out. 

                         Well, it's obvious I could go on all night.  Maybe i'll write myself in tomorrow when I go vote. If you have anything you'd like to add, I'd be happy to hear your ideas. You may even be considered for the nomination of vice-president! Upon my approval, of course..I'm also taking applications for immediate staff and cabinet members. I don't need a political adviser, though. I know exactly what I'm doing, I never make mistakes and I am NEVER wrong...feel free to agree with me....

                     
                        *footnote*
                              Please be advised that in the event that Johnny Depp expresses interest in becoming my vice-president,  my offer will be off the table. He automatically obtains the position. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. (no I don't)  And yes..this is just another excuse to post his picture...stunning man....stunning, stunning man.....swoon...

                

Giving Thanks...

   Sorry...I had to take a night off.  All those scary places we visited last month wore me out.  I hope everyone has recovered from their candy comas, because now it's time to get ready for Thanksgiving. So in the spirit of gratitude, I will be providing a list of what I'm thankful for.  But this is me we're talking about here, so you know it's not going to be some overly-sentimental, heartfelt list. No way. Not my style. I proudly present my snarky thankful list.

                         1. I'm thankful my husband gets paid jack crap. We totally understand his boss has 6 houses to pay for, so when he tells us he can't afford to pay us more, we happily tell him to keep the money...he obviously needs it more than we do. Besides, we don't enjoy eating. In fact, we've been meaning to stop. 

                         2. I'm thankful for the jack wagon who broke into my car, busted out my window and stole, of all things.....my make up case of hot rollers. That's right. The rollers I had just taken out of my hair. They thought it was a purse of some kind and took it figuring  they would find some money. AHAHAHAHA!!  If they had read the #1 thing I'm thankful for, they would've saved themselves a lot of trouble! So, for the best laugh I've had in quite some time, I express my most  sincere thanks. Except for one teeny tiny minor detail - I didn't find it so funny. 

                     3. I'm  thankful that my husband's car battery died and we were blessed with the privilege of replacing that when the #2 thing I'm grateful for occured. That was a bonzer week end, let me tell you...

                     4. I'm thankful we were given the highest honor of owing the state of Utah $900 in taxes this year. That was some fun! We need  to make this a tradition.  Again, like Rob's boss, we totally understand they need it far worse than we do, so we were happy to do our part. I bet the State of Utah  took a Carribean Cruise and laughed at us as they sailed by. Our money is in capable hands....thank goodness they aren't spending it on education or healthcare, so for that I am  truly thankful...

                               
         I know there will be other things to come along that I can be snarky and not so thankful for, so don't worry.  And of course there's always the laundry and dishes. I mean, really...who isn't thankful for the opportunity to do unlimited loads of dishes and laundry for unappreciative family members? But there was a small moment of joy today. I got to treat myself to clean sheets. Wow. I can hardly contain myself...please excuse me.


                                      *footnote*
                                            In all seriousness, I would like to thank my parents for bailing us out more than once this year. They paid our taxes so we could be spared the experience of being thankful to the state of Utah for coming after us and shooting us. They even paid for some car repairs. Never mind the countless times they've bought me lunch,  just so I wouldn't  be left out .

                                      For my parents, I can honestly say, I truly am thankful.....