Wow, wow,wow....crazy stupid past couple of weeks, but it's been fun. I had a lovely visit with my aunt and a friend of ours who came up from Florida. We've actually been friends on facebook for quite some time, so it was great to finally meet in person.
Speaking of Florida, I mentioned that I'd never been and would love to go. Do the whole Florida thing. Epcot, Disneyworld and the beach. If you're familiar at all with the geography of Utah, you will probably realize that we have no beaches. Ok, we have like, one, but it doesn't count. I love the ocean, so it was suggested that I go snorkeling. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! no. Yes, I love the beach. Yes, I love the ocean, but it doesn't mean I want to go swimming with fishies and other marine life. Now before you send me hate mail telling me I'm closed minded and listing all the reasons why I should try it, let me explain what will happen to me if i do:
1. There are fish. Millions of fish. They will seek me out, surround me and look at me weird. Then they will touch me.
2. There are sting rays. These will also seek me out and then sting me. I'd like to avoid this if at all possible.
3. There are jellyfish. Never mind the millions of fish touching me and sting rays stinging me. The jellyfish will spell my doom.
4. There are sharks. After the fish touch me, the sting rays sting me and the jelly fish have left me for dead, the sharks will come. They will smell my suffering and finish me off. You think I'm kidding.
5. There is seaweed. With the last ounce of strength I have, I attempt to pull myself to safety. This is when rogue seaweed attacks me and chokes me. It wraps around my neck and there you have it. I become fish food. At least at this point I won't care that they're touching me.
Several weeks later, I wash up on the beach and the horrid Floridian zombies eat me for breakfast. This is all true. And this is why I'll refrain from snorkeling, thank you very much. Auntie dared to think I may... perhaps....might possibly have fun engaging in this activity...Did she not read the list? And don't even utter the phrase, "alligator farm"....I'd rather take my chances with jellyfish and rogue seaweed...
*footnote*
You know that part in "Finding Nemo" where Dori and Marlin meet up with that scary-ass fish with those big scary-ass teeth and they barely escape with their little fishie lives? Ya, there's one of those, too....and it wants me.....
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